You're standing in darker than dark right now

Review of Peeps by Scott Westerfeld

Recently I took a trip to Howe Caverns in New York with my best friend. We took the lantern tour (which I highly recommend) and were deep in the caves where the tour guide turned the lights off and announced:

“You’re in complete darkness right now. No matter how long we stay down here like this your eyes will never adjust.”

At that moment I had two thoughts.

1) JEEPERS CREEPERS TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON!

2) This would totes not be a big deal if this was Peeps.

Let me begin by saying I wasn’t really looking to read anything by Scott Westerfeld. However, Peeps was recommended to me and I figured it would be a pretty quick read. And then it surprised me.

*Summary Contains Spoilers*

The novel opens on our protagonist, Cal, attempting to wrangle his ex-girlfriend who has become a cannibalistic maniac. Cal is one of the peeps, or someone who is “parasite positive.” He’s immune, but still carries the parasite (in a way not dissimilar to Typhoid Mary) and all his bodily fluids are contagious. Therefore, any girl Cal’s come into any sort of sexual contact with in the year since he became a peep is now a lunatic.

And, we’ll just get it out in the open, yes, they are very much like vampires. Sheesh.

One of the things I appreciated about Peeps was the science laced through the entirety of the book. All of the vampire mythos is explained scientifically. Eating raw meat? The parasite makes a person have heightened adrenaline all the time so they need more food to fuel it. Aversion to crucifixes? The parasite makes people repel what they love (there’s a term for this I don’t recall). So, hundreds of years ago communities were more strongly religious so the peeps hated crosses. The peeps of today are repelled by their favorite songs and even favorite cities (such as New York, NY). 

But back to Cal.

After he was infected and found to be immune and not crazy he was recruited by the Night Watch to help sequester the parasite. Hence, the wrangling of the exes. The Night Watch is centuries old and their job is to try and prevent the spread of the parasite.

A wrench gets thrown in their plan though by families with the “old strain.” That means a strain of the parasite that is just like being a carrier. The gal who Cal cashed in his V-card to, Morgan, is a member of one such family and she purposely tries to infect people. (This becomes clearer in the sequel, The Last Days.)

Cal’s next assignment is to try and find the elusive Morgan.

Joining Cal in his quest is the sassy Lace (short for Lacey). Lace is starting to realize more in going on in the city than meets the eye when she finds a super amazing apartment at a super amazing price. She ends up finding messages scrawled on the walls the landlord tried to cover with paint. Things get stranger when she sees Cal perform a Clark Kent-style leap across apartment balconies. There’s also the undeniable attraction between Lace and Cal but, of course, he can’t touch her because of the whole being contagious thing.

But I promise you this is not a vamp romance novel. Peeps definitely errs on the side of thriller, and when it comes to Lace and Cal you really root for them. They’re two college-aged kids who’ve finally met the right person, finally have something good going for them, and now they can’t even be together. Cal’s straight-man to Lace’s sassiness is funny and true to life. Their dialogue is real and the reader can’t help but cheer them on. I mean, come on, poor Cal’s spent the last year redefining the meaning of “psycho ex.” Boy deserves a chance to settle down.

Of course Cal’s cat comes to his rescue because the disease is also transferred through rats and cats (that’s how it’s traveled and stayed alive for so long). So, one night when Lace crashes in Cal’s living room and cuddles up with his kitty she ends up becoming a peep too. She catches the old strain though so she’s not even mad. Awwww.

To test whether or not Lace is really a peep Cal takes her deep, deep underground through old subway tunnels. That’s right, Cal and Lace go to stand in darker than dark and can see everything as clear as day.

Our dynamic duo, who can finally admit their feelings for each other, go to uncover Night Watch secrets and batten down the hatches against an ancient evil that is about to resurface. And I mean resurface quite literally as there are giant worms living below the earth preparing to end humanity.

The giant worms are explained more thoroughly in the sequel, but honestly The Last Days isn’t as good as Peeps. The story is still interesting but it lacks the snappy narration and the undeniable chemistry between characters. The reader does get a decent crash course in the history of rock ‘n’ roll though.

Report Card:

Hands down the best part of Peeps is the scientific vignettes at the end of each chapter. These describe real parasites in the world today that humans can acquire. Think tapeworm. And then tapeworm x1000. Westerfeld’s author’s note on why he wrote Peeps and why he included the real life parasitic case studies is really interesting and if you read the book I recommend you scope it out.

In a world of sparkly vampires in love triangles Peeps is refreshing and should be read by lovers of most YA genres. And, no, you don’t have to be a young adult to like this book. This would be another great book for some across the curriculum work, and a great independent read. Overall, I give Peeps a B.

And—just in case I ever become a crazed peep—here are some items the Night Watch can use to catch me.